(no subject)
sophias_ana
arrrrr i totaly hate purging! but i cant stop it!! i really needed to so baddly but i dont seem to be able to... and i dont think i want to... well i do but not really. if that makes sence... arrr my nose hurts from purging! strange right! arrr i need to talk to somone about it who i know! but my friends dont understand! i am so alone, their minds are everywere but mine is always thinking about how fat i am or how much i can eat! it just totaly seperates me from them. i want to be normal!! and happy!

this fat bitch has had enough!!
i want to sleep and never wake up!
i cant deal with this!
i have been living for this friday and sat!
i cant wait for my fast!
i hate food.
it kills me.

stay strong
love you all
x x x x x
think thin

arr! nasty little shits! (cals)
sophias_ana
ok so what the fuck! i was in college today and it was time to go for lunch (i dont eat lunch but still call it that lol) and i was like i have to go and meet my friends and they will be eating and i was scared to leave the room like i actually freaked and started to have a panic attack because i know there were cals out there! that can not be normal! arrr i have an exam tomorrow and i promised my self i would eat so i would do ok in the exam... but i really dont want to... i really really dont want to... arrr but on friday and sat i can fast! and i cant wait!! eeek so happy about that!

arrr i sound messed up...  haha!

love you all
good luck
stay strong
think thin
x x x x x x

EXAMS!
sophias_ana
ok i cant deal with my exam stress right now!
i have desided to eat for the two weeks wile i have my a levels because i really need to do well! but after that i am going to start ABC i think! i cant wait! i may see if after my time eatting more normaly i can recover... i really want to but i dont think i am really ready. i hope i can manage eatting normally for two weeks... i think i will do it but i hate to think of the weight i will gain! but i will fast after! and that i cant wait for!!!

good luck for everybody else with exams right now!!
you will do amazingly!!!
love you all
x x x x

drunk again... haha
sophias_ana
omh! the imposible has hapened!! i have lost weight! haha! im still not pleased with my weight.... still im glad im losing not gaining!!!
ok how messed up is it that i fasted to day but i still purged water??? arrr i want to stop but i cant...

good livk everybody wish you all bast of luck!!!
x x x x x
think thin
stay strong!

eeek cant wait for one more day of fasting!!!
it is well gooood!!!

hungry!!
sophias_ana
omg im so hungry right now...
but i wount give in...
arrr im such a pig im hungry and i only ate yesterday (soup 120 cals)!! what the fuck is that about!
just trying to keep my mind off food... thinking about my goal weight!!
i hope i make it!

im so angry at my self my S.I has started again... but as my mum checks my body for scars i cant do it noticibly so i am doing it on my findertips again its not the same but its still blood! i really miss doing it probily but i cant hurt my family more than i already am! also my deprestion is getting worce again. i am under so much stress because i have exams next week and my photography is due in on friday!!

stay strong
think thin!
love you all
xxx

boys + EDs = FUCKKKKKK!!
sophias_ana
ok so boys like skinny girls right? but they also like girls eating? how the hell does that make sence?? grr arr!! i hate them all (boys)! silly fuckers! make you eat then drop you like litter. tell you they like you then stay with there girlfriends, my ego really did noy need that!!

ok the only things keeping me going right now are pics or karlie kloss and the 6oo odd cals that i just binged! i feel bad about eating but i really really do feel depressed!

feeling really messed up now sitting in my room taking my dads morphine pills and drinking vodka!!
i hate my life so much right now... trying to think of reasons to stay alive, i only have one right now: i dont want people to remember me like a fat cow! arrr isnt my life the best!

arrr i hate myself so much!
why are some people happy?
i cant remember what real happyness feels like

i just want this to end
stay strong
x x x x

(no subject)
sophias_ana
getting what you want.... not as good as it is made out to be! ok the boy i have liked for like ever! just told me that he likes me! i was like so happy for a second than i remembered wow he has a girlfriend who i dont think he will break up with for me... now im just like great! what the fuck am i going to to! i was trying to get over you and now what!! arrrr im so pissed at him and me! i bet it was a joke... arrr im so stupid! how could i have fallen for it! i look so stupid!

i really want to eat now! not good!
waaaaaaaa i want to cut so much... i miss it more than i believe!
why are boys such dicks!


stay strong everyone
hope you are dooing better than me!

arrr
sophias_ana
i just had dinner!! fuck i want to purge!! i need to what is wrong with me!!!
arr pool party i looked so fat i will post pics of it soon and you will se how bad i look!! oh it is so nasty!
all my friednds are so skinny i want to be them!!

i cant cry anymore i dont know what is up with me!! i always used to cry... now i just lie here... feeling nuffin but wishing i was stronger... i wish this would not upsett my family and friends! i wish i could talk to people about this face to face. but none of my friends understand. why am i so messed up now? i was a happy child!

Ana is all i have now... i need her help more than ever right now!!

i need you
i love you
i hate you
ana i have given everything for you.
x x x x
stay strong
think thin!
love you all
x x x x

oops!
sophias_ana
OMG my mum just found evidence of me throwing up in the shower!!! WTF am i going to do??
she totaly thinks im mia!! she was already suspicious and now she watches me eat so i have to keep eating!
i wanted to fast!!! arrr i am so pissed off now!!! what is wrong with her!
i hate this so much!! i cant be happy without purging! i need to!

grrr i just ate and i dont even want to think about how many cals i had!! (of course i cant help thought...)
im so sick of this!
will morphine help me lose weight??


stay strong
x x x x x
 



good day!
sophias_ana
wooo today was so good! i did lodes of swimming! and i feel well happy about that!
also i had like noffin to eat!
yay i hope ana is happy with me!
eeek i hope i have lost weight!
i dont think i will make my target... but i hope so


sorry for the pointless post but i never post happy so i thought i might now....
stay strong
think thin
xxxx

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